One thing I've learned about being a mom, sometimes there are things you just can't teach your kids. There are things that are inherently ingrained in them, or not. I've learned that determination is on of those things.
My kids are very varied in their determination level. My oldest will try something once or twice but if he doesn't get it right away he gives up. The Middle Child will sit and work on something all day long and keep trying to come up with new ways to figure it out. Baby Girl? She is a determined little bugger as well. If she doesn't get something right away she may get frustrated and walk away but she comes back and tries again. I can encourage them to keep trying but it is really an inner desire that keeps them going, or makes them quit.
That was never more apparent than at her friend's birthday party this weekend.
Baby Girl was invited to a rollerskating party. My kids have never been skating....ice or roller...and I thought it would be great fun for her to give it a try. I remembered the rollerskating trips with my friends and family as a kid with great fondness.
We arrived at the rink, picked out her skates and laced her up. She stood up and fell down. She tried to stand up again but kept falling before she could get up. I helped her stand and told her to practice just standing up on skates. Then I tried to explain to her how to skate. She wasn't understanding.
Another mom convinced me to rent a pair of skates and give a try so I could help Baby Girl out. I haven't been on skates in almost 25 years! But I really wanted my daughter to have this experience so I laced up my own pair of roller skates and took a lap around the rink to get the feel of skates under my feet. I learned it was like riding a bike.
I took my daughter out on the rink and told her to hold on to the wall for support. She kept falling. By the end of the first lap she looked so miserable I felt terrible. All I could think of was how long this party was going to be. We sat on the bench and I told her to watch the kids that had mastered skating to try to reinforce how to do it. I convinced her to try another lap. She fell a lot but stayed up a little more than the first lap.
When she got frustrated she took a break and watched the other kids. Then she went out again. When it was time for pizza and cake and asked to take the skates off, I really thought she was done. I was so surprised when she asked to get laced back up and went back out on the rink! By the end, she hadn't improved significantly, but she was so proud of herself for being able to get a little farther each time before she fell.
She may have spent a lot of time on the floor but she kept getting up and trying again. I don't think I've ever been so proud of her. She was determined to make it around that rink and have fun with her friends. By the time we left she asked when we could come roller skating again.
When it comes to makeup I'm not a "full face" kind of girl. I'm all about quick and easy. I also don't like the feel of too much makeup. If it feels like it is caked on or sitting heavy on my face, it most certainly isn't for me.
Recently I was sent some liquid silk foundation from Covergirl's natureluxe collection. I figured it couldn't hurt to try it out once or twice. Boy am I glad I gave it a chance! I love how smooth it goes on and it doesn't leave a "made up" feel to my face. It is light in feel yet smoothes out my skin tone beautifully. I have found myself wearing it a few times a week. For this no-to-minimal make-up girl, that is pretty amazing!
I was also sent some gloss balm from the natureluxe collection. This is definitely more balm than gloss but is great for everyday wear. It smoothes your lips and contains SPF for added protection. It has a tint to it, giving just a sheer hint of color. I wasn't 100% sold on the color (thistle) however with 16 shades to choose from I might check out if there is one more suited to my liking. This is a great new essential to keep in my purse.
If you'd like to stay up to date on all Covergirl has to offer, hop on over to facebook and "like" them.
Disclosure: I received a sample of the above mentioned products free of charge courtesy of BzzAgent and Covergirl. I was not compensated in any other way. I was not asked to express a particular view on the product and all opinions stated are my own based on actual use of the product.
1) If you had to go back to high school how would you do it differently?
If I woke up tomorrow back in high school, after recovering from the shock of it all, I'd take the opportunity for a re-do. In fact, I can't think of too many things I'd repeat as it was the first time around when it comes to high school.
The first thing I'd do differently is apply myself to my studies. I was always a "wing it and see what happens" kind of kid and my grades ranged from A to C. We'll ignore that one time D in Chemistry and the fact I had to repeat Algebra. If I had focused a little more and actually applied myself (and studied for those tests!) my grades could have been significantly better. The fact that I was able to graduate with a 3.89 GPA from college is proof of that. I'm still mad about that B+ that brought down my perfect 4.0.
The second thing I'd do differently is not get so wrapped up in my boyfriends. I had two serious boyfriends through high school. (no, not at the same time!) I tended to put them before anyone or anything else. I should have taken more time for my friends, specifically my girlfriends, some of whom had been life long friends. I also would also like to take a little more time to get to know myself and become comfortable with myself.
Lastly, I'd put myself out there more. I would turn down or miss out on opportunities because I didn't know if I'd like them or because I was playing the part of the wallflower. There is no time like the present to try something new and get involved! New clubs, new friends, new experiences...you name it. The 2nd time around they are all mine for the taking!
What would you do differently if you got the chance?
You may have noticed I wasn't around here much last week. I might try to tell you it was because of my long To Do List related to errands and birthday party prep and that would be partly true. However, in reality it is because I am a procrastinator and subscribed to the life of a delinquent instead. Truth be told, I was off gallivanting with my friends most of the week.
I had gotten a call from a friend to meet for coffee. That turned into breakfast and shopping. I kept talking about how I couldn't be out all day because I had so many things to do. I was out all day. (I snagged some good sales though!)
I swore I wasn't going to answer the phone the next day and get distracted. I was going to stay on task.
The next day, my cell phone rang as I was backing out of the driveway to drop the kids off at school. I ignored my vow from the night before and answered it.
It was one of my friends I had spent the day before with wanting to know what my plans were. I told her about the cleaning I had to do and my allergy shot I needed to get. She distracted me from my agenda with "We have tickets to see Sister Act and somebody bailed. Want to go?" So there went my To Do list as I rushed to get ready and get to my friends house. When was I going to get another offer like this?
I'm so glad that I'm a bit of a procrastinator. If I had any self discipline I wouldn't have answered the phone that morning or I would have said no. Then I would have missed out on a fabulous day. We had a nice lunch, the company was lovely (and funny!) and the play was amazing.
Guess what? I still managed to get everything accomplished that I needed to. Perhaps I wasn't able to be leisurely about it but I tend to work better under pressure anyway. That is the procrastinator in me. I was also able to accomplish my chores with a bit of a pep in my step because I had spent two fun days with friends. Sometimes procrastinating is just what the doctor ordered.
Being a mom is hard enough but what I hadn't really prepared myself adequately for was dealing with other people's children. We all raise our children in different ways and I'm not one to judge which ways are wrong or right. However, what I am finding is a lack of basic respect and common courtesy from other kids. And I don't know how to handle it.
I've given you all my take on the name thing and children's behavior and lack of discipline. But this weekend I found myself dealing with 16 kids in my house for a birthday party and what I saw from some of them astounded me.
My son's party was Friday night. We were having a popular video game truck come for the main part of the party. I invited the kids over an hour early for pizza, cake and a pinata. I figured how bad could an hour really be? Well as they gathered on my front lawn they began playing football which I really didn't mind. It was nice seeing them be able to engage in a game together and blow off some energy. However, when it was time to call them in for pizza I got a lot of "not now", "in a little while", and "do we have to" from kids who weren't mine. Somehow my husband managed to wrangle them all inside and we ate our pizza. Then before I knew it or could stop it, many of them were up from the table. Somebody decided to take the liberty to go into my family room and turn on the TV. While sitting in there one little boy saw my son's wallet out and actually opened it and went through it. He didn't know I was watching him and when I asked him if he found it customary to go through people's wallets when he was in their homes he just stared at me. When I asked them to shut off the TV and return to the table for cake I was greeted with a round of "we don't want cake", "I want to watch TV", "lets go back outside", and more. I told them they didn't have to have cake but they needed to return to the table and sing Happy Birthday. Don't even ask about the behavior surrounding the pinata.
While many of you may say "What's the big deal, it's kids being kid's" I found it all very disrespectful. It was disrespectful to me as an adult, to my home and to my son, the birthday boy. If I ever found out my children behaved in such a manner when I wasn't around I'd be mortified. And trust me, it would be a long time before they were allowed to return to another situation where I wasn't present. Again, my kids aren't angels but I like to think I've taught them some basic manners and respect.
While I was trying to politely reign these boys back to the activity at hand, I wanted to be yelling "do your parents know you act like this?" However I already know that in some instances, yes, the parents do know and just don't seem to care. So what's a girl to do in these situations? Treat them like my own kids? (although I can't discipline other people's kids!) Rat them out to their parents? Turn a blind eye? I never know how to handle these situations! What do you do?
If you have a Mom Matter you'd like to discuss, please contact me about guest posting! All parenting and child related topics and age groups welcome. We can learn from each other!
In October of 2000 I welcomed my first child into the world and got onto the roller coaster ride that is known as motherhood. I've always wanted to be a mom and I love this parenting gig. However, I have a confession to make. Sometimes it is really hard and not all it's cracked up to be. Another confession? I'm not perfect at it.
To celebrate Mother's Day I'd like to share some of my confessions with you:
I'm not a morning person. Kids have not made me a morning person, despite what everyone always said to me. My kids make their own breakfast and sometimes my coffee.
I'm not afraid of a little dirt. A little dirt makes for healthy kids. Yes, I was that mom that picked the pacifier up from the floor, wiped it on my shirt, and popped it back in the kid's mouth.
My house will never be spotless. I may be a stay at home mom at the moment but that doesn't mean I'm a housekeeper. To be honest, I'm more likely to judge you if yours looks like a museum than as if a bomb went off. Messy proves that kid live there.
The tooth fairy sucks. The tooth fairy has been known to miss a night. Or two. Or maybe even three in a row. There have been many tears caused by the tooth fairy in this house. I can't wait until all their teeth fall out and we can say goodbye to our winged visitor.
I hate play dates. While I think friends are important and I want my kids to have time with their friends, it is not a priority in my life.
I have little patience for other people's kids. One thing I've learned while at this parenting gig is my kids are pretty good and I don't give them enough credit. It never ceases to amaze me the lack of respect and the behavior I witness from other kids.
Bedtime is at 8pm. And at 8:01 I turn into something resembling a scene from the Exorcist. Get your butts in bed.
I say no to my kids. Mostly it is because I believe in setting boundaries and not spoiling my kids but sometimes it is because I'm feeling lazy.
I can be overprotective. I always thought I'd be a layed back mother however I've learned that it is harder to do than to say. I find myself hovering and interfering a little too much at times. I'm trying to work on that a little bit.
I yell. Yes, this one is a little hard to admit. I'd love to be that mother that can speak to her kids in a lovely sing song voice all the time. But lets face it...that isn't me and I want to puke when I hear other moms doing it. Sometimes yelling is the only way my kids hear me.
I'm not supermom. For as much as I do for my kids I always feel there is more that I could do. I feel guilty when I can't make something happen, I feel crushed when they are disappointed, I hurt when they hurt, I feel sick when they are sick. I feel frustrated when they think I should be able to make the earth move and I can't.
I don't play with my kids enough. I play with them. Just not enough. I don't get down on the floor to build Lego towers or play barbies or cars or whatever nearly enough.
I don't want my kids to grow up. While I dream of them growing into successful, independent adults, I really don't want to lose my babies. My youngest is 7. It is already starting to happen.
I wouldn't change my life for the world. Sure, it would be great to have a bigger house, less stress, more money, hired help. However, the things that really matter are all right here. My house may be a little untidy but it is brimming with love and usually happiness. That is something that you can't buy or trade.
Now it is your turn. What are some of your mom confessions?
Yes. You read that right. I said, losing weight is the easy part. Now before you go all ballistic on me or click that little red X button at the top of your screen hear me out.
Notice I didn't say losing weight is easy. I said it was the easy part. Maintaining. Now THAT is the hard part.
More than a year ago I celebrated reaching my goal weight after taking off 30 pounds. It wasn't easy. I find that staying focused and always choosing the right things, calculating points, going to meetings all takes time and energy. However, the one thing I have going for me is that I'm determined and when I make up my mind to do something I'm good at sticking to it. I was able to lose those 30 pounds in approximately 4 months time.
This January I was super proud of myself for having maintained my weight loss for a full year. I kept up a lot of the good eating habits that I had developed while actively losing weight. Now I'm finding myself facing the scale again. Those good habits have slipped a bit. I'm blaming the Girl Scout cookies. And the Easter Candy. And all the food on vacation. They just seem to have found themselves jumping into my mouth and landing on my hips.
When I lost the weight, I got rid of all of my "fat" clothes so that I didn't have the easy access to slip up a size without even noticing. I also vowed I wouldn't allow myself to go out and buy bigger clothes the next time they became too tight. So guess it is time to hit the meetings again and curb my eating habits.
I may find myself back in meetings and counting points for a while but I will do it. I have the tools, now I just have to find the discipline.
The day you realize you are standing eye to eye with your child is hard. When you take him shoe shopping and he moved from a child’s size into a men’s size that has now surpassed your foot? Not so easy either. To realize this has all happened and he is only 10? Excruciating.
I knew this time would come. I only stand at a petite 5’1” tall and wear a size 6 shoe. My eldest son has been on a rapid growth cycle since the day he was born so I started at around the age of 5 telling him that just because he will get taller than me won’t mean he becomes the boss. Yet here I am dealing with a surly 10 year old who is the same size as me. Even though I expected it, I wasn’t prepared for it.
What I also wasn't prepared for is the attitude he carries around. I realize that it goes along with the age, he is testing his boundaries and trying things on for size. However, I really thought I had a few more years before I had to worry about this. I'm not enjoying the sassyness, the backtalk, the sarcasm and I find myself unsure of the proper way to deal with it. Grounding him doesn't seem to work and his attitude seems to bring out my attitude which means we've been clashing a lot.
I guess I'm finding myself firmly planted in the tween years. Heaven help me.
Parents of tweens...what is your advice for surviving?