Libraries are for more than books

Nursing school is a tough place.  When you are 18 and away from home for the first time, it doesn't make it any easier.  You take friends and confidantes anywhere you can find them.  I found mine in the school library.

Our school had a work study program where we could work in the evenings assisting students in the skills lab, computer lab or library.  I applied for the library assistant program and was glad that I was offered the spot.  We had jobs to do but when it wasn't busy and we were done with our tasks, we were able to study.  However, being a library assistant had another perk.  Our librarian. 

Darlene was not only a useful resource in the library for our classwork, she understood the pressures we were under.   She was a wonderful sounding board for when the pressure made us feel as if we were going to pop.  She helped me put things back in perspective and help be my compass grounding me and pointing me back in the right direction.  She not only did this with issues related to school but in my personal life as well.  Again, I will point out that I was 18 and on my own for the first time.  I assure you there were personal trials and tribulations in the three years I spent at nursing school.  My experience would not have been the same if had not been for our talks in the library.

I'd like to help all of you honor a special woman in your lives.

This Mother's Day visit Shop for a Better World and choose a gift with heart.  From 5/3-5/8 you can save 15% off a purchase of Heart of Haiti or Rwanda Path to Peace products by entering the Promo code: CLEVERGIRLS

Disclosure:
I was selected for this very special “CleverHaiti” opportunity by Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity. All opinions are my own.

Spring Has Sprung

My Little Coconut

Lately I feel like time is just speeding up and things are sneaking up on me out of nowhere.  Like today.  Today is The Middle Child's 9th Birthday.  9!  How is he 9 already? 

One thing The Middle Child can do that nobody else can do quite as well is make me laugh.  He makes me laugh each and every day.  He is quite the funny little man!  He also is very unique and creative.This story of him is one that I've been wanting to share for a while and never got around to.  So now I figure today, on his birthday, is the best day to share the tale. 

For Christmas my husband asked each of the kids what they wanted to get me for Christmas.  He did his best to help the kids find me what it was that they were looking for.   When I received the package from The Middle Child I wasn't sure what to expect.  It was round and reminded me of a bowling ball only it was smaller and much lighter.  I slowly unwrapped it and I'm sure a puzzled look came across my face.  It was a coconut.  A COCONUT!  What?!?

I thanked him and put it to the side with my other presents.  Later that day I asked him why he chose to get me a coconut.  His reply?  "Because I wanted to get you something unique and who else would think to get you a coconut?"  Nobody.  Nobody but him.  He is now known as My Little Coconut.

The Most Magical Places Are The Hardest to Get To

For Spring Break we decided to head south and explored Shenandoah National Park. 

We hiked some wonderful trails that treated us to some beautiful waterfalls

and other shows of nature. 

Mom Matters: Making the Switch

Over the summer I switched pediatricians for my kids and I am so happy that I did.  What I found myself doing though was kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

Our former pediatrician was part of a practice with 4 doctors.  Out of those 4 doctors I didn't like 2 of them.  Out of the other 2 that I "liked", I felt one never listened.  Being part of a larger practice you get lost in the crowd and I never felt as if they knew me or my kids.  I had finally had enough.

Our new pediatrician is in a practice of 2 doctors.  I scheduled a well visit over the summer so we could meet the doctor and get to know her before we "needed" her when one of the kids was sick.  What I found was was a doctor who took the time to listen.  She listened to me and more importantly, listened to my kids.  Before she left us she asked if I OR THE KIDS had any questions.  She washed her hands between each kid which is something I have never seen our previous doctors do.  She was thorough and I knew we were in good hands.

When I met the other doctor in the practice under sick circumstances, I was just as happy. 

We aren't just a nameless face.  When I take one kid in they ask me about the others. They are always sure to ask if we have questions or need anything else.  I've gotten reassurance from them and my kids have gotten wonderful care from them.  I am so happy I found them.

The lesson here is, when you feel your doctor isn't the right fit, trust your instincts.  Keep looking. 

Happy Easter

Happy Easter



photo credit:  Photobucket

Kindergarten Conundrum

I'd like to introduce you all to Amelia from It's Our Yard.  Over at her place, she blogs with her husband Jack.  They share their tales of married, and as she puts it, that includes the good, bad and sometimes ugly.  She is pretty new to this blogging gig so I'd like you all to give her a warm welcome. 

My Kindergarten Conundrum
I have a parenting confession to make. I hardly ever, ever, ever check my kids’ homework. Rarely. As in only if there’s a problem or they request my help. Which, I’ve raised some pretty smart and stubborn kids who would rather wash the dishes than have to admit Mom might know something, so I hardly ever get asked. Well, Drama Tween gets lazy sometimes a lot lately and doesn’t want to read her text book, so I do have to push her along to the right section of the chapter but that’s beside the point. I just don’t feel like it’s my job. I mean it’s not my homework, it’s not my grades that suffer, and I’m not the one grounded if they bring home a bad grade report, and frankly, I’ve got better things to do than to double check their homework.

So why am I confessing this? My kids are 17 and 12, and I’ve kept my secret safe thus far. Here’s the problem: Little Chick’s kindergarten curriculum. I don’t know if it’s her school or just the way things are now, but her workload is ridiculous! Every weekend she comes home with a short story to read (this replaced the sight words), math facts to practice and sometimes worksheets to correct – in kindergarten!

I am completely torn by the subject matter being covered in my step daughter’s school. I mean part of me wants to be like, “Yeah! Take that! My Little Chick can read, can yours?” because I am super proud of her. She just turned six and she’s reading stuff that neither me, nor either of my children read until 1st grade and were well into being 6 years old. But on the other hand I’m like wwwhaaatt?? Why does Little Chick need to know how to count money, and pass an addition and subtraction timed math test already? Why aren’t we satisfied she can add and subtract without seeing how fast she can do it? I don’t buy the argument that her reading now will make her a better reader later. My son resisted learning to read until he was 7 or 8 but by the time he was in the 5th grade he was reading Lord of the Rings and testing at a high school reading level, so that argument is bogus.

Little Chick is intelligent, but she struggles with some of this stuff. She can read pretty well, but she’s one of the slowest in her class passing her math timings. And here’s my conundrum, should I be making her spend more time practicing this stuff or let her spend more time being a kid? I mean, if she was in the 5th grade and really struggling with a math concept, this would be a no brainer – help her out. But since this is kindergarten, for now I’ve decided to stay the course - leave it up to her, after all, kids’ homework is not my job, remember?

Mom Matters: Organized Sports

For today's Mom Matters I'd like to introduce you to Jacki from The Raven's Spell.  When she told me what she wanted to write her post on, I welcomed it whole heartedly.  As you all know, I am a mom of 3 active kids and my life revolves around their sport schedules.  Without further ado, I give you Jacki:

For many years now my son, who is now 9 years-old, has been involved in organized sports. Having been the athlete, I was glad to see he had an interest in sports, as well as a way to let go of a little extra energy. He has played soccer, basketball, wrestling, and now baseball.


When he first started organized sports it was soccer and I was his coach for four of the seasons. This worked wonderfully because I could schedule practices when it worked best for my family’s schedule, could limit the number of practices per week and make sure that they ended early enough that the kids had time to get home and have a little bit of a life before going to bed. I was also able to instill in my team the importance of fun and hard work over the need to WIN.

Then my life became a little too full and I had to let go of coaching. At that point my son decided that if I wasn’t coaching he wasn’t playing. He informed me that all the male coaches were mean and no fun to play for. So this spring he is trying out baseball and it is taking everything I have to make it through the season (which has only just begun).

I have noticed in his other sports that so often the leagues, and in some cases the coaches, function as if my son and my family does nothing other than the sport. Game schedules and practice schedules come out at the last moment (sorry, this family needs more than 2-days’ notice on practices, folks), four practices are scheduled in one week, all of which run 2 hours, games are scheduled for 5:30 and kids are expected to arrive an hour early.

Tonight is a prime example. He will make it back to his dad’s house from school around 4:15. He will have spelling homework, but will need to be on the baseball field (20 minutes from the house) at 4:45. His game begins at 5:30 and lasts 1.5 hours. By the time we make it out of the park and home, it will likely be after 7:30. He will need dinner and a shower and his bed time is 8:30. When does he get his homework done? When does he get some time to just be a kid and play with his Legos? Of course, he also has a 2 hour practice on Thursday and a game on Saturday.

So how much is too much? I love that my son enjoys sports and I think participating in sports can be a meaningful way to gain confidence, make friends, learn new skills, and understand how to work hard and as a team. At what point, though, do you lose those wonderful lessons for the sake of having the best team that wins all the games? At what point do the leagues wake-up and realize that elementary school kids can participate in the sport and still be a kid (one that still has homework and chores and a bed time)?

What about you? Do your children participate in organized sports? Do you feel pulled between the sports and letting your kid be a kid?


Welcome to my new weekly Monday feature: Mom Matters.  Each Monday I will be discussing a parenting topic that matters to me as a mom!  It may be big or little, but it matters.  If you have a Mom Matter you'd like to share, please contact me to write a guest post.  All topics welcomed, it doesn't matter the age of your child....we can all learn from and support one another by being in different stages of parenthood. 

Sunday Shout Out

I've missed the last week or two of Sunday Shout Outs.  I've been a little crazy around here and I'm a little behind on my blog reading.  Today I'm just going to feature one blogger.  I mentioned him before in my Shout Out but he continues to chronical his journey through the earthquake in Japan.  I'm going to give you his posts in order here:

Where Fear Lies

Calm Amid Calamity

The Morning After

Home, Neighbors, and What's Coming

Things We Didn't Know

North tohoku

Spring Fling

To celebrate spring and update our accessory wardrobe, Yes, Teacher hosted a Spring Fling Earring Swap.  I love swaps with bloggy buddies...you get to make new friends!  My swap partner was Elisse. 

I was so excited to get my package in the mail!  Since I had checked the mailbox as I was walking in the house with my 3 kids, I waited for a quiet moment to open it up.  Inside I found a lovely note and a beautiful pair of earrings that Elisse had custom made for me. 

Aren't they pretty?  They are made of sterling silver and the beads are turquoise, amethyst and pink tourmaline.  Some of my favorite colors!  I know they didn't know 2 of my kids birthstones are featured on there. 

I don't notice the earrings in this pic as much as how much I'm aging.  But they look nice on, don't they?

What I reallly like about them is that they are so light it doesn't even feel like I have earrings in.

Just in case you wanted a little closer look. 

Growing Up

Today is Writer's Workshop day over at Mama Kat's place and this week ALL of the prompts were of interest to me.  The first prompt I chose and wrote on was:

4.) A time you covered your tracks and avoided punishment

However, I decided that it was best not to actually publish that post so I erased it.  I'm not sure what the statute of limitations on parental punishments is.  (And I certainly wouldn't want to give my kids any ideas for when they are older) 

Then I thought I'd write on
2.) Based on their personalities, what do you think your children will be when they grow up?

But then I thought one day may kids might read what I wrote and use it against me.  So I decided it was probably safer to skip that one too.

I'd need several posts to cover this prompt:
3.) What I lack

And this prompt would be too short and boring:
5.) What do the contents of your handbag/purse "say" about you?

All that the contents of my purse say about me is that I'm broke and I have a lot of allergies.  (tissues, inhaler, epipen, benadryl, and no cash) 

So now I've settled on the prompt and the one you actually get to read about is:
1.) The moment I realized I was a grown up

The moment I realized I was a grown up was on my 25th birthday.  I had a 3 month old newborn and my husband was working a wonky shift.  There was certainly no fuss or fanfare for my birthday that year and I found it depressing. 

When my husband left for work that night, I curled up on my bed with my baby boy and cried.  I cried because not only was it a sucky birthday but it finally hit me that I was really a new mom.  And being a mom meant I was an adult.  I wasn't supposed to care anymore about bad birthdays because all that mattered was this little man in my arms.  I was no longer the kid that someone would take in their arms and coddle until all the troubles of the world went away.

I don't know why it hadn't hit me before that.  I had certainly been living the life of an adult.  I went off to nursing school when I was 18 and never moved back home.  I didn't even come home for summers.  I found a full time nursing position right out of school and was paying my rent and all my bills.  I even went out and bought myself a new car.  I married at 23 and we bought our home right away.  Owning a home should be enough to make you realize you are really an adult.

Another factor is that I was always a bit adult-like even in my teens.  I started working when I was 14, I purchased my first car when I was 17 and I paid my own car insurance.  I've been doing my own laundry since I was 11 (that is probably a whole post in and of itself!) and I was raised to do chores and be a productive member of our household. 

I guess it just never occurred to me that adult hood would come in with a big fanfare and announcement.  It silently snuck up on me and hit me that January night that hey, I really am an adult now!

Soccer Personalities

Spring soccer season is in full swing and I'd like to introduce you to all of the different personalities of our sidelines.  Parents may exhibit more than one personality which may be at different times or all at the same time.  They are an interesting bunch. 

The sideline coaches:  These parents coach their kids from their seats.

The sideline refs:  These parents make their own calls and question the calls the actual ref makes.

The Coach (and Ref) Wannabe: These parents think they really do know best and want a crack at the lineup.  Their coaching isn't limited to their own kid, they coach the whole team.  Their ref calls involve not only questioning the ref but yelling at him. 

The Super Star's Mom:  This mom feels we should change the game schedule if her child can't be there because she thinks we can't possibly win if her son isn't on the field.  She also doesn't believe her son should ever be subbed out and rotated off the field, again, because how could we win without him?  The team is him. 

The verbal abuser:  This parent doesn't limit their comments to sideline coaching and/or reffing but actual criticism of the players and coaches. This criticism is not limited to the play at hand.  Hand gestures and  hitting things have been witnessed. 

The oblivious ones: These parents are unaware of what is going on either on or off the field.

The Peacemaker:  These parents are always trying to smooth ruffled feathers and make peace between the parents and/or coaches. 

The Disgruntled Mother:  This mom is mad at the coaches for the nonsense they pull, the refs for the nonsense calls against her kid, and the other parents for not being able to keep their coaching and criticism to themselves. 

The Is-What-It-Is Parent:  They may or may not be happy with what is going on  but you'll never know because they are good at keeping their reactions to themselves.  They look at it as they don't have control over what happens on the field or on the sidelines so they just ride with the flow. 

Now, I'll leave you to guess which personality best describes me.  I'll never admit to you where I fall in the lineup!

Mom Matters: Letting Boys Be Boys

If you follow me on twitter then you know I spent this past weekend in the woods with my boys and their Cub Scout Pack.  From the first mention of this camporee months ago I tried to get out of it.   Camping just isn't at the top of my list for how I'd like to spend my weekend.  Especially a camping trip that involves latrines instead of a real bathroom. 

However, despite my lack of desire to camp, it was also about more.  I have realized that as a mom I tend to mother.  Yes, I realize that is what a mom is supposed to do.  However, in some situations that isn't always the best option.  Sometimes you actually hold your child back by mothering.  Sometimes they need to have the chance to try things on their own and spread their wings. 

I thought about this camping trip and how they would have a much different experience if I just was not there.  I can't hover and over-mother if I'm not present.  They will behave differently, be able to make decisions that require use of logic and common sense and they would either succeed or fail.  If they failed, hopefully it would be a learning experience for them.  So I began searching for a replacement.  (my husband was working for the weekend and couldn't go)

My dad was willing to go for one night and I was going to come down in the middle of the day on Saturday.  However, even the best laid plans go awry.  One of my sons got sick and Friday was a monsoon.  I left the sick kid home on Friday night and went with my dad and older son to set up camp IN A MONSOON.  I returned with a somewhat-healthier kid on Saturday morning.

Even though I was back in camp a lot earlier than planned I made the decision to separate myself from my boys.  Usually I want to be one of the ones going around with them to their activities to see what they are doing.  This time, I offered to stay behind and man camp.  And it was the best decision I made.  I had a fabulous day, my boys had a fabulous day and I didn't hover. 

I won't say I didn't do any mothering over the weekend but I wasn't the hovering mother.  I let my boys spread their wings and they flew. 


Welcome to my new weekly Monday feature: Mom Matters.  Each Monday I will be discussing a parenting topic that matters to me as a mom!  It may be big or little, but it matters.  If you have a Mom Matter you'd like to share, please contact me to write a guest post.  All topics welcomed, it doesn't matter the age of your child....we can all learn from and support one another by being in different stages of parenthood. 

Taming Disappointment

This coming weekend my boys and I are attending a camporee with our Cub Scout Pack.  They've been busy practicing their scout skills and I've been busy creating costumes for our Alien Invasion theme, coming up with site decorations, grocery shopping for the pack and packing our own gear.  While I could do without camping, my boys are really looking forward to it. 

Yesterday when my kids came in from school I took one look at the Middle Child and knew something wasn't right.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me he felt funny.  By dinner time he had a temperature of 101.5 and in the middle of the night I was up with a vomiting child. 

Today I had to break it to him that it wasn't looking too good for him going camping.  He managed to hold back the tears but he couldn't hide the visible disappointment.  It broke my heart. 

As an adult, I sometimes have trouble dealing with disappointment.  So this is one spot I feel I fail as a parent; helping them understand and deal with their disappointment.  He didn't choose to get sick.  He can't help being sick.  And I can't make him better any faster.  While I can promise him we can do something fun when he is feeling better, or even make it there for part of the weekend, I can't give him this experience back.

Vacationing From Home

With spring break here and summer right around the corner, vacation and how to entertain the kids is a hot topic for many families. As much as most of us would love to be able to go on extravagant vacations, sometimes that is just not possible. No worries! We can still have a great vacation from the comfort of our own homes. An added bonus? You get to sleep in your own bed at the end of the night.


The media has dubbed the term “staycation”, which I am not such a fan of. We’ve been vacationing from home for years and have a blast! A combination of day trips and fun around home create wonderful memories. My top tip for vacationing from home is to treat it like a vacation. It is okay if not all the chores get done. Be sure to put work away. Eat out, order out, whatever; just don’t cook each and every day! My next tip? Plan ahead, just like any other well planned vacation.

Here are a few tips to enjoy your vacation from home:

1. Be a tourist in your own town! Look up the website for your town and find some local attractions that you have yet to try or may have just overlooked. Think out of the box and check out an art gallery or historical society.

2. Request a brochure from your state’s tourist bureau. There are sure to be great suggestions and many times they include coupons.

3. Pull out your coupon book! I once planned an entire day out complete with a trip to a lighthouse, a museum, a restaurant and a movie theater all by accident. I had been looking for a coupon to something else in my Entertainment book when the museum coupon caught my eye. Since it was over an hour away, I began looking for other things in the area. I managed to save our family a lot of money on admissions and food that day and it was a super fun day!

4. Strap on the hiking boots! Head out to the great outdoors and explore some trails. You can find some wonderful, and easy, trails in many local parks. We could do this every day and our kids would be happy. One of these days I’d like to give geocache or letterboxing a try to add something different to our hikes. Don’t forget to pack the water and some snacks for the trail!

5. Pack a picnic and then hunt up the perfect place to spread it out!

6. Head to the library. Many libraries offer free programs for the entire family. While there you can pick up some books and movies for your days at home.

7. Have a playground marathon day! Visit as many different playgrounds as you can in one day and then hold a vote for the favorite one.

8. Go visiting. We have lots of family that lives within an hour of us but our busy schedules prevent us from seeing more of each other. This is a great time to pick a few hours to catch up!

9. Look for your minor league teams. My family loves to go to sporting events but it is cost prohibitive to take a family of 5 to the major leagues. We are fortunate enough to have a minor league baseball team the next town over and we really enjoy catching games there.

10. Hunt up the water parks! Rain or chilly weather? Indoor water parks have made their mark.

Looking for ideas to entertain your brood on the days you decide to stay at home? Hop on over to see my 10 Tips for Staying Sane on a Staycation.

Mom Matters: Sleepovers

Welcome to my  new weekly feature:  Mom Matters.  Each Monday I will be discussing a matter that is effecting me in my gig as a mom. 

I'm over the hurdles of baby and toddler hoods but now I'm navigating the territory that finds me smack dab in the middle of childhood.  My babies are getting older and this brings new opportunities, new friends, new milestones and new challenges.  I shared with you my challenge of cutting the cord a few weeks back and I face things like that on a regular basis.

I was recently asked if my 7 year old daughter could sleep over a friends house.  I said no.  Luckily, this is one thing my husband happens to agree with me on.  I think they are too young and I don't want to start the habit of them asking for sleepovers all the time. 

I have also declared my house a no sleepover zone.  I cherish my sleep.  When I tuck my kids in for the night, I'm done.  I don't want to have to worry about someone else's child, I don't want to be kept awake by giggling kids, I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by a homesick kid.  I have friends who have been swapping sleepovers with their children's friends since the kids were 4.  I think that is insanely young to be sleeping over someones house that isn't family.

However, it got me to thinking....I used to LOVE sleepovers with my friends.  My first sleepover was for my birthday party in 3rd grade.  I still have pictures of that party and can remember the fun we had.  Sleepovers became a regular part of my childhood and teenage years with my best friends.

 My eldest is 10 years old and in 4th grade this year yet, I tell him no sleep overs just like I tell my 1st grade daughter. (my 3rd grade son hasn't been asked yet)   So why was it fine for me to be having sleepovers but not for my children?  I think that though I like to say I'm not an over protective parent, perhaps I'm a bit more protective than I've ever admitted before.  Am I denying them a right of passage of childhood by not allowing them to sleep over friends houses?  Or am I over thinking the whole thing? 

Where do you stand on sleepovers?  The more kids the merrier OR pack them up and send them home?

PS...I'd love to have contributing writers guest post on their matters as well.  It doesn't matter if  you matter is big or small, or what stage of parenthood.  If you are interested, drop me an email!

Amazing Women

Eight years ago when I was pregnant with my third child, I joined a mom's group.  At the time I had joined because I wanted to make friends for my children but I also thought it would be great for me to meet other women who were able to understand daily life with small children.  Over the years we have been able to participate in many amazing activities sponsored by the group.  However, what I hadn't expected was the friendships I'd make. 

I have met some extraordinary women through my involvement in this group.  Women who cook for you when you have a baby.  Women who unbeknown to you, prepare meals for your family while you are lying in a hospital having surgery.  Women who raise extraordinary amounts of money when we find out one of our own has to deal with the unimaginable.  Women who would give you the shirt off of their back. 

Women who you may not see for long periods of time yet maintain a connection and can pick up at a table over drinks like you saw them just yesterday. 

Last night I sat around a table where 9 of us met to share a drink.  I see some of these ladies on a regular basis, others I haven't seen in a year or more.  We sat around the table sharing memories, laughs and catching up.  And we were sure to toast the one thing we all had in common; the group that we all joined and brought us all together. 

I joined that group shy and unsure of what I would find and what I found was an amazing network of amazing women.  I am so grateful I took the leap into the unknown.