Focus on Yourself

I'd like you to welcome Serena from Bewildered Bug as she shares her take on how to find some time for you.

FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR "ME TIME"

If you follow my blog, you will know that this year in particular has been crazy busy...wait...I mean CRAZY BUSY (yes capitals, bold AND Italic) for me.

I've managed to get through seven months of no free weekends and definitely not much "me-time".

I've finally reached my limit, so I've recently decided that I need to declutter my life - and I don't mean with a mop and broom. I mean I need to clear my schedule a bit, learn to use the words "No thank you" again and to "disappear" for a bit, do what I want, when I want, with whom I want....or by myself.

One of the promises I've made to myself is to become more independent again - to do what I'd like to do regardless of what the hubby wants to do.

I am creating me time. And I don't care who protests - because if I don't get it, there will be one very annoyed bug walking around here - and I PROMISE that won't be pleasant.

I thought I'd share my "me-time" efforts with you because I know a lot of you are as busy and perhaps more busy than I am. So I hope you are able to implement some of these into your life as well.

1) Make yourself a private corner in your home. I had done this when we first moved into our apartment, but my reading chair in the quiet corner quickly became the dumping ground for my husband's junk and for his clothes (yes for some reason the word laundry basket is beyond him). I recently threw all his clothes on him and told him to do the laundry and then cleaned up my corner, even expanding it and including a blogging/crafting table! And he is not allowed to come near it. The TV may be his, this area is MINE.
I actually got this idea from a home redesign show a few years ago (I cannot remember the name), in which this poor lady had five boys (all under the age of eight!) and was going nutty. So they designed an area in the house for her alone. They put a folding screen so that when she was there, no one was allowed to call her, to bug her or to approach her. She could still keep an ear out for potential disasters, but she was able to get a few precious moments on her own per day.

I haven't put up a folding screen......yet.....

2) Need to relax? Go for a mani-pedi. Yes I hear you, you have kids to feed, you have a house to look after....I am not a Mommy and I am not going to criticize that. However, I am going to say - you need your time alone and that if you really think, you can manage at least one mani-pedi per month. I live in the city so it is easy for me. There are four nail places within five minutes walk from me - all except one with the cool massage chair/pedicure chair combo. I went for one today and got a back massage...and I am completely renewed because I had a few minutes today to myself.

What's even better about the cheap places - is that there are usually week day specials - so if you work, or if you have no one to look after the kids during the day, just get to the place before it closes (as in as soon as your hubby walks in the door), shut your mind off from anything except you and just enjoy the luxury for an hour.

3) Make a list of things YOU would like to do and find a way to do it. Not your husband, not your kids, what would you like to do? Now what do you have to do to make that a reality? Stop getting permission to do stuff that you used to do pre-kids - just arrange a sitter, drag your hubby (or not) and go do it! Make a date with your hubby and/or yourself and concentrate on that moment - not the fact that maybe your house may be on fire.

4) Remember when you were single? What hobby/activity made you ecstatic and why don't you do it anymore? (Okay, there may be some R or X rated answers - I'm talking PG here people!). Let's make sure you find someway to enjoy that activity or hobby again. I set up a crafting table - I haven't done crafts or painting in decades - but I always enjoyed it even if I was not that good at it. It calms me. Also, I started blogging and doing reviews.... Next? Maybe I'll start playing the piano again.

My husband has not been complaining about my crafting, painting or blogging because if you twist it so that your partner sees it as a potential source of income, he may actually encourage you (again from personal experience) and offer to look after the kids to allow you to do your work.
In the end, what I've learnt is finding me-time is really a decision you have to make and an action that you have to implement.

So, if you find that your husband is keeping you back from life (*cough cough like my hubby seems to be doing recently cough cough*), the kids are overwhelming, the in-laws are driving you crazy, the dog has soiled your white carpet yet again or that you wake up in the morning wishing you were someone else, somewhere else with a different life - as long as it were not yours.......then you need to decide to focus on yourself for a change.

Good luck ladies - it's not easy, but once you've done it you'll be really happy you did.

Keep in touch and let me know how it goes!