Welcome to my new weekly feature: Mom Matters. Each Monday I will be discussing a matter that is effecting me in my gig as a mom.
I'm over the hurdles of baby and toddler hoods but now I'm navigating the territory that finds me smack dab in the middle of childhood. My babies are getting older and this brings new opportunities, new friends, new milestones and new challenges. I shared with you my challenge of cutting the cord a few weeks back and I face things like that on a regular basis.
I was recently asked if my 7 year old daughter could sleep over a friends house. I said no. Luckily, this is one thing my husband happens to agree with me on. I think they are too young and I don't want to start the habit of them asking for sleepovers all the time.
I have also declared my house a no sleepover zone. I cherish my sleep. When I tuck my kids in for the night, I'm done. I don't want to have to worry about someone else's child, I don't want to be kept awake by giggling kids, I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by a homesick kid. I have friends who have been swapping sleepovers with their children's friends since the kids were 4. I think that is insanely young to be sleeping over someones house that isn't family.
However, it got me to thinking....I used to LOVE sleepovers with my friends. My first sleepover was for my birthday party in 3rd grade. I still have pictures of that party and can remember the fun we had. Sleepovers became a regular part of my childhood and teenage years with my best friends.
My eldest is 10 years old and in 4th grade this year yet, I tell him no sleep overs just like I tell my 1st grade daughter. (my 3rd grade son hasn't been asked yet) So why was it fine for me to be having sleepovers but not for my children? I think that though I like to say I'm not an over protective parent, perhaps I'm a bit more protective than I've ever admitted before. Am I denying them a right of passage of childhood by not allowing them to sleep over friends houses? Or am I over thinking the whole thing?
Where do you stand on sleepovers? The more kids the merrier OR pack them up and send them home?
PS...I'd love to have contributing writers guest post on their matters as well. It doesn't matter if you matter is big or small, or what stage of parenthood. If you are interested, drop me an email!
Monday, April 4, 2011
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I'm with ya on the need for sleep that is uninterrupted. We haven't yet begun this stage but are right on the cusp. This weekend we ended up with 5 kids at the table - a neighbor hood boy was playing with the kids in the backyard and just sort of stayed. It wasn't too big of a deal but it really got me to thinking about what it means to be a mom of kids with real friends.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 7 and I let her have sleepovers at my house but only with one friend. The kids are usually behaved and they know not to wake me up in the morning. Plus they have so much fun. The only part I don't like is getting them to bed at night, they like to stay up late.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be the mean mom that says no to sleepovers. But one of my issues is not knowing the parents and not knowing what is going on in someone else's house.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little bit paranoid.....
My son sleeps over a few friend's houses once in awhile, and I do know the families well. That is the only situation when I would allow him to sleep over. The bad thing is though, now that they're 11,12,13, a few of them want to watch R rated movies and anything that has to do with the opposite sex. My son, I'm happy to say, still prefers all the sci-fi stuff, which when he suggested watching they didn't want to watch and said it's nerdy. Unfortunately, the parents don't supervise enough and they are allowed to flip through the channels and watch these things, or play games all night, or be on the computer, so after this last sleep over, I had to tell him no more to that house. I like the family, but I'm more strict in what's appropriate for my 11 y/o son. Even after talking to him about what happened and what they did, he totally agrees that my hounding them to get to bed/sleep at a normal (but a little later than usual) time is a good way to have a sleepover at our house. He's sleeping on the couch as I type because they were up all night watching movies etc. I told him I wouldn't tell the mother because he didn't want to get embarrassed or have those kids/neighbors mad at him, and nothing was severe enough that I feel it warrants me talking to her, but I am laying the law of no more sleep overs there. Play outside basketball, football, etc., but nothing overnight now. Not worth it. I'm just SO glad he tells me what happens and shares things with me! Let's hope that lasts!
ReplyDeleteI have let me son have sleepovers at my house since he was in second grade. Until this year's birthday party, it has always been just one friend, and after the party, we will be going back to that rule. I don't mind the sleepovers here because I have control of the situation. However, I know some of the parents are more permissive than myself,and I am not sure I would allow a sleepover at their homes.
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