Monday, July 26, 2010

What's in a name?

Sarah over at Mommy Lite offers up one of my favorite blogs.  Her post I like to be called Ms. Maizes got my blood pumping because this is a topic that drives me crazy.  Apparently, in this area at least, my husband and I are among a dying breed where we like to be addressed by Mr. and Mrs.  I was always taught to respect my elders and I expect kids to show me respect. 

What I have found over the years of being a mom, is that because so many people like to be called by their first name, they assume everyone wants to be called by their first name.  They introduce me to their kids as Beth, not as Mrs. K.  When I state that I prefer to be called Mrs. K I get a funny look and a quick comment to their kids of "okay, remember to call her Mrs. K".  Then that seems to be the end of that.  Nobody ever seems to remember.  The simple fact that my children address you as Mr. and Mrs. should serve as a helpful reminder, yet this seems to go unnoticed as well. 

I'm tired of hearing "Mrs. So-and-So is my mother-in-law" or "Mrs. makes me feel old".  Get over it.  Welcome to being an adult. 

Would you have ever walked into your friends house and called her mom by her first name?  I doubt it.  If by some chance you did have that permission, what about your coach, your scout leaders, or other adults in your life?  I really doubt you ever would have done it.  Yet, despite me telling my scouts and their parents numerous times I prefer to be addressed as Mrs., I still kep hearing my first name out of these kids.

Want to make me really cringe?  Call me Miss Beth.  Again, you are using my first name and I'm not a Miss.  I'm a Mrs.  I'm proud to be married and have been happily so for 11 years now.  If you are going to insist that your child show some level of "respect" by throwing in the Miss then please lets upgrade to the Mrs. K I've been trying to get across. 

I will take some blame.  I've gotten tired of sounding like a broken record and so after a few reminders I just give up.  I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. 

What do you like to be called? 
Posted by B at 11:42 PM
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5 comments:

  1. I am right there with you. I hate being called by my first name by a child. To this day there are people I still refer to as Mr or Mrs and their last name..even though I am now grown and have kids of my own.

    I just had this convo with a friend of mine. He told my oldest to call him D (first name) and I responded no she will call you and your wife Mr/Mrs C.

    I am southern raised girl and it is not only polite but a form of respect that will be given to elders in my household. Right along with yes mam'/sir and no mam'/sir.

    Easy way to fix it, stop answering them when they call you by your first name. Don't even acknowledge enough to correct them. They will get the hint, kids aren't stupid they just like to act that way so they can get away with stuff.

    And I will step off of my soap box now. It is nice to see other adults out there who prefer to be called by their proper titles. Maybe there is hope yet.
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  2. hmmm...I've actually never really thought about it. If they are good friends of my kids (i.e. usually family friends) we are called by our first names. I'd feel awkward if my friend's kids called me "mrs...". If it's a friend my son just met at school, they will usually say "Mrs....". I don't really care either way. But, no matter what, people should respect your decision on what you want to be called. That's just basic common courtesy!
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  3. I actually like when kids call me Miss Sara, but then, I'm not yet married, and there isn't much else they can call me :P
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  4. Growing up I ALWAYS had to call my parents friend "Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so" I don't think I have been called "Mrs.." since my wedding day. I don't think it applies until I have kids, does it? The other day a 14 year old patient called me Ma'am and it stopped me in my tracks. When did I go from being a miss to a ma'am?! I'm only 25. haha
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  5. I am not too particular about what they call me. Just call me! It drives me CRAZY when one of my son's friends doesn't use a name at all. And, I hate for them to say "OK" when I ask a question - it is either Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, but not OK.
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