Oh, My eyes!

We went to the beach today, this somehow being the first time we've been there all summer.  Not sure how that happened but we've just been so darned busy doing other things the beach has eluded us.

I love the beach for many reasons, however the biggest reason I love the beach came after motherhood.  The beach is a place where I can entertain my children ALL.DAY.LONG.  And the only thing required of me is to drive them there.  They entertain themselves and never once say "I'm bored" or "can you do this for me?".   Instead of arguing I hear giggling.  They play in the water, ride the waves and work cooperatively in the sand to build a castle, dig a hole, or bury a sibling.  Once in a while they realize they are hungry and I'll point them to the cooler for a snack, then they return to what they were doing. 

While my children are happily playing I can't help but people watch.  People watching is another reason I love the beach; you can do it under the disguise of keeping an eye on your children playing at the waters edge.  However, one thing I've come to realize over the years of my people watching is that the sun isn't the only thing that hurts your eyes while at the beach.  While sun glasses can help against the sun's glare it cannot shield you from the horrors of what people wear to the beach.  Sir, I do not need to see what kind of junk you are packing in your speedos, please trade them in for some respectable trunks.  And remember a few months back when I was having such trouble choosing a bathing suit?  Well, apparently I didn't need to worry so much.  Apparently it is perfectly acceptable to stuff a 20 pound sausage into a 2 pound skin.  Or in this case, a very large body into a teeny tiny bikini.  And then adorn the belly button with a little bling.  In a few cases I was trying to figure out just how they were able to find the belly button in order to pierce it.  Never mind the interesting tattoos I've seen, or the interesting places they've been put.  I think the most stupid one I've seen so far is a UPC bar code-type symbol on some young man's chest, right over his heart.  I do believe that young man who looked no more than 18 or 19 may grow up to regret that decision.

One of these days the pain and damage afflicted to my corneas due to my people watching will remind me to turn my eyes on my book.  Or the eye candy in the red bathing suits as the lifeguards run their drills.  Or even better yet, to close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the waves and the gulls "singing". Oh wait, I'm there with my kids, my eyes are supposed to be firmly planted on them.  I guess the other things will have to wait until my dream comes true.