I don't know about you gals, but I personally am at my wits end. I'm tired of nagging, yelling, refereeing, screaming, threating and grounding. Really, I'm e x h a u s t e d. I'm drained. I can't take another day of it. So, I've been wracking my brain to come up with a solution to the mayhem.
Many moms I know are into positive reinforcement. I've always laughed a bit at it. I mean, should the kids really have to be rewarded for behaving and doing the things they should be doing? It always seemed backwards to me. However, I'm going to give in and give it a try. I've got to change the way I'm doing something because obviously what I'm doing isn't working! I'm trying to come up with a system that isn't too complicated. I don't want it to be too time consuming for me or too confusing for them and I hope it will eventually teach self monitoring.
This is the plan I've come up with so far. I'm still tweaking it but hope to figure it all out soon so I can set it in motion. I'm going to post a list of responsibilities on the fridge. For each one they do without having to be reminded a zillion times (in the beginning I'll give them a reminder or 2 then hopefully eliminate them), they will earn a ticket. They will also be able to earn extra tickets from time to time for lending hand when asked with "special" tasks or if they are "caught" being good. They will lose tickets for things like FIGHTING with their sibblings or talking back to their parents. They will then have to use their tickets to buy rewards such as TV time, playdates, movie nights and video game time.
I am also going to start a collection box for things found left lying around the house. They will have to use tickets to "buy" these items back.
I'm open to suggestions so, PLEASE, share with me what has worked for you!!! I'm on a quest to restore my sanity.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
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Good luck with that. My husband and I are TERRIBLE are setting up these kind of things then sticking with them. I think the kids are on to us. I hope you have better success.
ReplyDeleteAmy, that is EXACTLY what I am afraid of! That is why I've been putting it off but now that I want to give it a whirl why I want to keep it as simple as possible.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter used marbles==different color for each child. Each marble was worth so much money. Marbles were taken away for infractions of the house rules. Marbles given for making bed, brushing teeth, putting toys away, etc. After they got a certain number of marbles, they were rewarded with the money those marbles were worth and go to go shopping with Mom to get whatever.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great start. A friend of mine did this over the summer when the kids were home from school & it really worked. I always felt the same way as you--why reward them for things they SHOULD be doing--but the few times I have tried things like this, it's worked. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteYes, little children can be rewarded for doing what they're supposed to do. Just like puppies (and husbands ;) they need a lot of positive reinforcement for something to stick.
ReplyDeleteI think you're on the right track. Some kind of tactile, visible representation of their behavior is a great idea. For myself, I used glass stones in a jar when I'm trying to build a habit or achieve a goal. I give myself penalties and rewards.
Most of all, make sure the adults involved are on the same page and enforcing identically. With 6 kids and 2 parents who weren't even in the same book, my family went through a whole bunch of techniques for trying to get all us kids in line.
Stopping by from SITS!